I Don't Have A Penis!

To the obviously-phallically-obsessed that keep sending me cleverly disguised spams and ads that sneak past my spam filters:

I don't have a penis, have never had one, nor do I want want one (especially since it seems so prone to dysfunction). So, your ads about penile enlargements and viagra or psuedo-viagra miracles will likely be better received by people who have or want a penis. Your ads are wasted on me and my non-existent penis. Seriously!



Oh, and as for your breast enlargement spams and ads... well, erm, the running joke with my friends is that I stole my girls from other Asian women, hence left others flat. I definitely don't need or want any more boobage. In fact, I have more than enough to spare and may topple over at the slightest zephyr if I get even a smidgen more.

Ah, and don't misinterpret this and start sending me ads about weight loss either - my voluptuousness is not due to my weight. My weight falls into the average weight range for my height, and I am comfortable with my body because I also have a healthy body image. Thus, I have no need or desire to lose any excess weight, and you certainly cannot convince me otherwise.

Now, if you have a miracle cure about how to shrink my girls naturally, then I may not be as mad at you for sending me crap.

Sincerely,
Boobalicious Penisless Healthy Gal